Black and White OR Red All Over!

While reading through some of my past blog posts, specifically one from 2012, I came across the reminder that our instructions to our children with Aspergers need to be black and white. Crystal clear. You'd think, after five years of knowing this is what's going on, and knowing I need to be extra clear on this, I'd give black and white instructions. And yet, I failed once more. Recently.

A couple of months back, my daughter was invited to spend the day on the lake with a youth group. She'd never done that before but was excited. As I've mentioned before, the water is her home. We made sure she had snacks, sunblock, the obligatory ratty clothes. I picked out the perfect shirt for her to take with her, thinking she would wear it over her swim suit while in the lake. What I neglected to do was tell her what I expected. So, you guessed it, she didn't wear it. And while she did have sunblock on and even put some on later, if you have ever spent all day in, on, or around a lake, even with sunblock, without a t-shirt, you FRY. She fried. And had the chills that night. And was tired the next day.

I hadn't planned on her going to church the next day, even though it was Sunday. That is something I learned awhile ago in this journey - ONE event per weekend and church counts as an event for the Aspie mind. So not only was she obviously in recovery mode, she had to deal with a sunburn on top of it. Well, experience is the best teacher and she won't soon be forgetting that lesson! Within a week we had bought her an actual swim shirt and  she was thrilled. Found them at Costco and they had ONE in her size! I know that was God! The slowness in timing was mine, not His. His timing is always perfect; mine, not so much.

In all of this we learn, again, to be crystal clear in the instructions we give to our amazing Aspie children. We also learn that while we wonder if they will ever survive out in "the real world", away from Mom's and Dad's protection, we have these little tastes of how they'll react to similar experiences. Best they have those FIRST experiences and "oops" within the safety of a loving family
where they can be guided and talked through what follows. And that, my lovely parents, is quite an honor!

It seems my ability to be consistent in blogging is nonexistent. So there's that.
However, it doesn't mean I don't live with the highlights and lowlights (peaks and valleys?) of Aspergers every day.

This weekend the Aspie princess is on a beach trip with her youth group. This is a GOOD thing. My girl feels at home in and near the water, so the ocean is a good place for her to be. Do I worry? Not really. Water, even the ocean, really is her friend.

New this year for her is swimming with the local high school's swim team. She willingly goes to a a gruelling swim practice four days a week. Another first for this year is actual competitive swim meets. She's been swimming with a recreational swim team every summer for the past five or so summers. This fall she does actual timed events and uses the diving block.

About that first swim meet . . .
We did prepare her for it by talking about the noise, stimuli, etc. We forgot to talk about the confusion  that might occur, at the exact time of the event, that might send her into a tailspin. And it did. She imploded and ran off to face the fence, cry, breathe . . .

And she came through it. Yes, we endured stares of other adults who didn't get it. Other teens who didn't get it. But you know what? I ignored them. I helped her. And when it was time for her to swim again, even though she was the last swimmer to come in, some of her swim team members cheered her in, and even some of the competitor team's members cheered for her! Yep, I cried. Tears come to my eyes even now, thinking about it.

So, do I worry about her at the Ocean? No. God has her and watches over her when I can't. I know He watches over her always. As He does you and me. He has given us unique and special children. Kids that would change our lives in ways we never thought possible. And for the better!

May you be encouraged, Mom and Dad, as you do your best each day to raise these unique kids. Is it easy? No. But is it a blessing? Absolutely! Consider yourself chosen - not everyone has the wherewithal to raise such interesting people!

-Noble