Tuesday, December 15, 2015

DECEMBER TRIFECTA

      So many of us with special needs kiddos know the holidays, any of them with a change in routine and extra stimuli, can wreak havoc on our children's emotional status quo. Our house is no exception.
This past Sunday was the December Trifecta at our house. And I was at work.

      The run down:
     It was my daughter's first day of that time of the month. That alone is enough to derail her usually stable executive functioning (ability to deal with every day life). Thus, the first part of the trifecta.

     The second part occurred when people (boys and girls) from her own youth group started to make fun of special needs folks. She handled it amazingly well when she explained to them how she is one of those folks. However, despite the fact that she pretty calmly explained it, and they were surprised that she was a part of the special needs community, one of them still had the audacity to tell her, "Don't get all booty hurt about it." Seriously? This is how a youth group peer treats another?

      The third part happened, as I said, while I was at work. The rest of the family was at home and as instructions were given to do something, the tectonic plates shifted and the core inside my house evidently erupted into lava - lots of yelling, anger, confusion, you name it.

      It's hard enough for my girl to deal with Aspergers on a day to day basis. Then you top it off with people who refuse to accept you as you are, think you're too sensitive, and won't listen to you when you try to explain what's going on. Honestly, I'm surprised she exploded. Usually, she implodes at times like this. But based on what was happening, had happened, during the day, I'm really not surprised it happened. I'm just sorry that it happened. Or am I?

     I know that some of you deal with some very similar issues, if not the exact same dynamics. My hope and prayer is that we all learn from these experiences and help our kids learn from them, too. But more than just learning from them, I pray we can figure out how to help others who don't deal with this on a daily basis to understand this is OUR normal. And just because my normal looks different than yours doesn't mean it's not acceptable.

     We see so many advertisements, hashtags, etc, asking for awareness of this, that, and the other. I'm pretty sure we're all AWARE of different challenges people have. Let's you and I break the mold and speak ACCEPTANCE of the differences in life's routines and challenges that special needs brings. And may we all teach each other how not to be hurtful but to be HELPFUL.

     Merry Christmas, everyone! If you live with these challenges, don't let anyone make you feel bad for not attending their event. You know what you need to do for the mental health of your family. If you don't live with these challenges, don't be insulted because someone says they can't participate in your shindig. It has nothing to do with you. What DOES have to do with ALL of us is LOVE! Matthew 22:39

-Noble