Pace, Interrupted

I'm sure you all at one time have been frustrated by having to slow down in order to actually accomplish something, instead of speeding up. This is often true of our special needs kids. And while we know this in our head, it can be frustrating when we don't totally embrace their speed of learning. But this is one of the reasons we homeschool, right? So why do we expect them to go at a 'normal' (which probably could be read as 'public school') pace?

The last few months have given me some insight into how my Aspie daughter actually FEELS when life gets so big for her she MUST slow down.  Allow me to explain.

When my daughter is faced with a FULL production week: at least three 3-4 hour dress rehearsals followed by 2-4 performances over a six day span, more often than not, I do not require, nor do I expect, her to make it to church that Sunday. Someone once said to me, "Well, what time does the last show get over on Saturday?" as if it was that one show that was throwing her. I explained it wasn't just the one show, it was having to be ON all week. And again, I knew this intellectually but I didn't really get a feel for it on a cellular level until I was in a show of my own. That's when my pace, and my perception of my daughter's pace, was interrupted.

A few months back I auditioned for and was cast in a community theatre production. I have been in theatre productions before but the last one was several years ago. I enjoyed the weekly rehearsals and the camaraderie our cast had. Tech Week (aka Production Week) was literally three 4 hour dress rehearsals followed by three days of performances. Saturday was the longest day by far because it was an earlier show AND we were required to strike set and help clean up afterwards. Our shows averaged about 2.5 hours each time. So my Saturday looked like this:

Noon Call Time ( the time you have to get there to prepare: get costumed, makeup on, mic check, etc)
    I arrived around 11am, which means I ate 'lunch' around 10:30am.

2pm Curtain call

4:30pm Show ends
              Greet guests
              Turn in microphone, change into civilian clothes
               Help strike set and clean up
6pm      Leave to go join rest of cast at restaurant to finally EAT.

So, basically my Saturday was 7 straight hours on my feet, more or less,
   after a full week. Oh, and I should mention, I'm a very 'last minute' type of person, so that
   Monday I decided I would make gifts for each member of the cast. I worked on those while not at
   rehearsal.

By Sunday, I was toast. But I still went to church. Not sure why, because during Sunday School I couldn't pay attention and during service, I took a nap in the car. I was SO tired, physically and mentally. And I don't have Aspergers. I now have a fair, yet very small glimpse, into what my daughter experiences during extreme times such as this.

My other 'ah-ha' moment occurred this week. Because I'm a glutton for punishment, or just addicted to learning, I am taking a couple of free, yet intensive classes on coursera.org  One of these classes is Calculus. No, I don't want to take Calculus, and no, I'm not good at advanced math. It is simply a stepping stone to another course I want to take.  So as I stumble along in this course, I realize I am not going to meet the assignment and quiz deadlines.  Thankfully, this class let's you turn the deadlines off. When I went to do that, it reminds me that most students do much better when deadlines are set and met. I agree. But I also had to admit that I could not meet the pace those deadlines would require of me. I had to admit to myself that I would and could still work on the course material, it would just take me a little longer than the rest. And that's okay.

Have you ever worried that your special kiddo isn't going to 'graduate on time'? Ever fretted he/she wouldn't finish a subject 'on time'? I have. But you know what? Ask yourself this: is your child taking this course, using that curriculum, to 'finish on time' or to actually LEARN the material?

Most of us homeschool our special needs kiddos partly, if not wholly, so they CAN learn. Not so they can meet a slate of cookie cutter deadlines.