Thursday, April 19, 2012
Again??
She had a meltdown this morning. Again. I had to decide what to do. Again. I wondered WHAT to do. Again.
Do you ever feel like this? Like you have to tread on eggshells. Again. Or you must remember to be as literal as possible. Again.
My daughter is 13. She's already hit puberty, hormones and all. Thus, I've also had to teach her the finer points of shaving. She's been shaving for over a year now. Last night I told her to shave her legs and arms when she took her shower. She agreed to shave her legs and then said, "I don't know how to shave my arms. You never showed me how.". It took me a minute to figure out that while I was thinking 'under arms' my daughter was thinking of her literal entire arm! Needed to think in black and white terms. Again.
This morning, while I know she is very tired, I did make sure to give her a literal time for when I wanted her to do something. Well, evidently that's not good enough for when your Aspie child is completely exhausted. We had a meltdown. Again.
I wonder I'd I'll ever have a moment where I don't have to think "Again??" with her but whether or not I do, God evidently gave this child to ME, and my husband, for a reason. And so I take heart in the Scriptures that encourage us to:
"Do not grow weary in doing good"
And
"Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest."
Along with
"In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world."
So, even if I have to deal with another meltdown, again, or wonder what to do, again, I know that the God of the Universe understands and He has put you here as well. We are not alone in this! We have each other. So, welcome, friends! Be strong and courageous! And when you can't be strong on your own, lean on Him. He can handle anything you throw His way.
-Noble
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I've been distract . . .oh, why is my desk so dusty . . .
Bunny trails. Familiar with those? You begin with matching your loose socks together and discover one that belongs to your son. You go to put it in his drawer and notice his dirty clothes on the floor, so you decide to start the laundry. Then you remember the baseball uniform needs to be washed because pictures are tomorrow. Oh, that's right, you're supposed to bring a snack. So now you go to the grocery store. But before you go to the store, do you need things for dinner? Oh, and don't forget the coupons! etc, etc, etc.
We all get distracted and evidently I've been distracted for over two months now since I haven't posted a single thing here. Oops.
Yep, you're right, I did make a promise a few months back and have failed miserably in keeping that promise. Part of the problem is that I get so distracted. What about your unique child? Do they struggle with distraction? Or maybe they're not "distracted" necessarily because they're hyperfocused on something. Drives you nuts when they don't hear you, doesn't it?
Remember, these kids are Aspergers kids. Their brains are wired differently. We need to remember that getting impatient and upset when they don't respond to us in the way WE think they should does no one any good and will probably just make the situation worse. Take a deep breath, Mom and Dad, and think about ways to interact with your kid that you know WILL work. Don't know what will work? Well, stop whatever you're doing now that isn't working and try something different. Remember, your Aspie child is equally frustrated but they need your help. So please help.
-Noble
We all get distracted and evidently I've been distracted for over two months now since I haven't posted a single thing here. Oops.
Yep, you're right, I did make a promise a few months back and have failed miserably in keeping that promise. Part of the problem is that I get so distracted. What about your unique child? Do they struggle with distraction? Or maybe they're not "distracted" necessarily because they're hyperfocused on something. Drives you nuts when they don't hear you, doesn't it?
Remember, these kids are Aspergers kids. Their brains are wired differently. We need to remember that getting impatient and upset when they don't respond to us in the way WE think they should does no one any good and will probably just make the situation worse. Take a deep breath, Mom and Dad, and think about ways to interact with your kid that you know WILL work. Don't know what will work? Well, stop whatever you're doing now that isn't working and try something different. Remember, your Aspie child is equally frustrated but they need your help. So please help.
-Noble
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's December?! Overwhelmed!
Please forgive me. Again. For once again I have been remiss in my responsibility of updating my blog. Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with everything that you just do nothing? Or you think, "I know, I know it needs to be done, I'll get to it a little later" and then it doesn't get done? I think that's what happened to me. There are times when it seems I have SO much facing me on the
"to do" list, I just get completely overwhelmed and don't do anything!
Are your Aspies like that? Do you give them a task or two or three to do and nothing gets done? You wonder why a task that should have taken 5 minutes is now taking an hour and a half or more because you have to stand there right next to your child to make sure it actually gets done. Then you get frustrated, you get impatient, and you YELL!!! Hmmm. That didn't work either, did it?
A couple of months back I couldn't understand why my 13yo Aspie daughter broke down when I told her to do a simple Language Arts assignment. Now, I realize that LA is probably her weakest academic area but this was something simple. Hmmm. Simple. Yes, it was simple. But not to an Aspie who had anactivityFridaySaturdaySundayandplayedwithfriendsandactivityonMondaytoo!
Hard to read? Yes. Read it s-l-o-w-l-y. I reckon the first time you looked at or even tried to read that string of words you felt an inner wall go up, you thought,"What?? That doesn't make any sense!" and you felt overwhelmed. Right?
Multiply that feeling by 10, 20, 30, maybe even a thousand, and that's how it seems to be for an Aspie on an almost daily basis at key moments.
I urge you, Dear Parent Friend, when you're Aspie begins to melt down or to go into what I call "shutdown mode", remember those times you have felt overwhelmed. Can you imagine having to face that feeling practically every day and not know exactly what to do about it?
Our children look to us for training or guidance (yes, really,they do! I promise!). Let's not berate them when they feel helpless.
I Peter 5:7 states "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
Proverbs 3:5-6 states "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
May we both let those two passages of Scripture be an encouragement to us when we're anxious and don't have any clue as to what to do with or for our differently-wired children!
-Noble
"to do" list, I just get completely overwhelmed and don't do anything!
Are your Aspies like that? Do you give them a task or two or three to do and nothing gets done? You wonder why a task that should have taken 5 minutes is now taking an hour and a half or more because you have to stand there right next to your child to make sure it actually gets done. Then you get frustrated, you get impatient, and you YELL!!! Hmmm. That didn't work either, did it?
A couple of months back I couldn't understand why my 13yo Aspie daughter broke down when I told her to do a simple Language Arts assignment. Now, I realize that LA is probably her weakest academic area but this was something simple. Hmmm. Simple. Yes, it was simple. But not to an Aspie who had anactivityFridaySaturdaySundayandplayedwithfriendsandactivityonMondaytoo!
Hard to read? Yes. Read it s-l-o-w-l-y. I reckon the first time you looked at or even tried to read that string of words you felt an inner wall go up, you thought,"What?? That doesn't make any sense!" and you felt overwhelmed. Right?
Multiply that feeling by 10, 20, 30, maybe even a thousand, and that's how it seems to be for an Aspie on an almost daily basis at key moments.
I urge you, Dear Parent Friend, when you're Aspie begins to melt down or to go into what I call "shutdown mode", remember those times you have felt overwhelmed. Can you imagine having to face that feeling practically every day and not know exactly what to do about it?
Our children look to us for training or guidance (yes, really,they do! I promise!). Let's not berate them when they feel helpless.
I Peter 5:7 states "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
Proverbs 3:5-6 states "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
May we both let those two passages of Scripture be an encouragement to us when we're anxious and don't have any clue as to what to do with or for our differently-wired children!
-Noble
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Summer (Change of ) Routine
Hello! Your sporadic blogger here!
Since the summer is upon us and most of our kids are out of/done with school for the summer, I've been thinking about how I'm going to keep my Aspie daugher "on a routine". She does not do well when left to her own devices for the whole day. The first two weeks we will be occupying the kids with VBS (Vacation Bible School) and swim lessons, followed by lunch and a quiet time. By the time that is over each day it will be around 2 or 3pm. Then I'll be working on a project with my dd for at least an hour each day leaving her about an hour or so of free time before dinner and maybe an hour afterwards.
How do you keep your Asperger's kiddo on a routine in the summer?
Since the summer is upon us and most of our kids are out of/done with school for the summer, I've been thinking about how I'm going to keep my Aspie daugher "on a routine". She does not do well when left to her own devices for the whole day. The first two weeks we will be occupying the kids with VBS (Vacation Bible School) and swim lessons, followed by lunch and a quiet time. By the time that is over each day it will be around 2 or 3pm. Then I'll be working on a project with my dd for at least an hour each day leaving her about an hour or so of free time before dinner and maybe an hour afterwards.
How do you keep your Asperger's kiddo on a routine in the summer?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Woefully Unreliable
Talking about me, here. I promised you that I would post something at least once a week and I have not. I do apologize. This past Sunday we had a guest pastor at church. His message topic was: Temptation. A big part of temptation comes from within. Wow. Ouch. Therefore, temptation from within my own self has pulled me to focus my attention on other things instead of this blog. That being said, do you think that our kiddos (or spouses) with Asperger's Syndrome are more prone to temptation than the rest of us, given that they can be so focused on ONE thing for a long period of time? And because it often seems that they are only interested in what they WANT to focus on?
What are your thoughts on this?
Look up a Scripture verse this week that talks about temptation and come back and tell me what you learned from it. I'll do it, too.
Blessings!
-Noble
What are your thoughts on this?
Look up a Scripture verse this week that talks about temptation and come back and tell me what you learned from it. I'll do it, too.
Blessings!
-Noble
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Future Education for Autistic Kids
I'm discovering some new and exciting resources that may be helpful to all of you as you navigate your child's education, now and in the future. While I am a huge proponent and advocate of homeschooling, I know that it's not possible for everyone. When it comes to college and post-secondary education, that may be of even more concern. So here is help. Below I've posted a couple of links for resources that may help you. Please come back and let us know if it was indeed helpful to you.
http://collegeautismspectrum.com/index.html
http://www.npr.org/2011/04/13/135345982/colleges-address-autistic-students-struggles
Blessings!
-Noble
http://collegeautismspectrum.com/index.html
http://www.npr.org/2011/04/13/135345982/colleges-address-autistic-students-struggles
Blessings!
-Noble
Monday, April 11, 2011
Is it more than just disobedience?
Anyone who has a kiddo with Asperger's Syndrome knows that while our Aspies like their routine and schedules their meltdowns seem to occur at random times and, sometimes, for random reasons. My husband is quick to say that it's blatant disobedience and that our daughter is "playing the sympathy card." He may be right but I don't see it that way.
I do believe there is a deeply rooted issue of disobedience in all of us, regardless of our various issues or neuroses. However, I also believe that you must tailor the discipline of that disobedience to the individual. My husband's response is to immediately get frustrated and yell. Yeah, that helps. I will admit that used to be my response, too, and sadly sometimes still is. Yet I know that our daughter is wired differently so shouldn't I also know that my response must be different? Yes, I should and I do. But not always.
What do you do when you realize your response to your Aspie's meltdown or other bizarre behavior is simply ineffective? Or when responding a certain way has worked before but not this time around?
One day when the kids and I were all yelling at each other and couldn't seem to stop, I ran downstairs, dropped to my knees, and literally cried to the LORD for help. As I opened my Bible the first passage I saw was Proverbs 15. I read the first verse and then tried to read on. I couldn't concentrate on anything but that first verse: Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Ouch. What had we just been doing to each other? Yelling. In anger. Not being gentle at all. I literally was stuck on that verse and could not read on. Then I stood up, picked up the white board and wrote that verse on it. Then I called the kids down, showed them that verse, and made us all read it together.
The point of this is that we all get frustrated and angry. For a myriad reasons. We often choose disobedience. All of us. (When was the last time you spent some quiet time reading Scripture?) We will and often do respond inappropriately. When that happens, as it inevitably will with special needs kiddos, turn to the LORD, in prayer and humility. For that is our first act of obedience: to acknowledge that we need Him. Thank Him for your life. You wouldn't be here without Him. Praise Him for Who He is. Then ask for His help and guidance. In answer, you may get stuck on a single Bible verse but it will be exactly the one you need.
Blessings!
-Noble
I do believe there is a deeply rooted issue of disobedience in all of us, regardless of our various issues or neuroses. However, I also believe that you must tailor the discipline of that disobedience to the individual. My husband's response is to immediately get frustrated and yell. Yeah, that helps. I will admit that used to be my response, too, and sadly sometimes still is. Yet I know that our daughter is wired differently so shouldn't I also know that my response must be different? Yes, I should and I do. But not always.
What do you do when you realize your response to your Aspie's meltdown or other bizarre behavior is simply ineffective? Or when responding a certain way has worked before but not this time around?
One day when the kids and I were all yelling at each other and couldn't seem to stop, I ran downstairs, dropped to my knees, and literally cried to the LORD for help. As I opened my Bible the first passage I saw was Proverbs 15. I read the first verse and then tried to read on. I couldn't concentrate on anything but that first verse: Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Ouch. What had we just been doing to each other? Yelling. In anger. Not being gentle at all. I literally was stuck on that verse and could not read on. Then I stood up, picked up the white board and wrote that verse on it. Then I called the kids down, showed them that verse, and made us all read it together.
The point of this is that we all get frustrated and angry. For a myriad reasons. We often choose disobedience. All of us. (When was the last time you spent some quiet time reading Scripture?) We will and often do respond inappropriately. When that happens, as it inevitably will with special needs kiddos, turn to the LORD, in prayer and humility. For that is our first act of obedience: to acknowledge that we need Him. Thank Him for your life. You wouldn't be here without Him. Praise Him for Who He is. Then ask for His help and guidance. In answer, you may get stuck on a single Bible verse but it will be exactly the one you need.
Blessings!
-Noble
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