Forgive me?

How are you? Have you been having a good summer? Great summer? Terrible summer?
I've been thinking for awhile that I need to visit here and update the blog. I had NO idea that
I hadn't been here since April! So, I ask your forgiveness.

Yep, if I were you, I might roll my eyes, too, or think, "You know she's going to do this again",
etc. And you're both justified and correct. However, remember this blog is not really about you or
me but about facing and dealing with the challenges of Asperger's Syndrome. So please don't let
my faults keep you away from occasional good information!

Speaking of forgiveness, do you sometimes find it difficult to forgive the Aspie in your life? When the Aspie in your life has a meltdown do you ever think (and I know you do!), "Again? Why can't they CONTROL it? What is it THIS time?" Or the Aspie in your life does something that you think they should KNOW not to do? And then when it's pointed out that their action was wrong, they either shrug or don't do anything, including saying they're sorry. Annoying, isn't it?

Remember, Asperger's Syndrome is a different order, a different wiring of the brain, not necessarily a disorder. So, the answers to the above questions are: yes, again. No, he/she probably cannot control the meltdown. They may not even know what caused it. And one of the best explanations I heard as to why they don't say they're sorry:

     "If they did it on accident and you know it was an accident, why should they have to say they're sorry?
      If they did it on purpose, then they're not sorry, so why should they have to say they're sorry?"

Most of us know that it's polite to say you're sorry. The Aspie in your life may not yet know that or may simply need reminding. Or it may never make sense to them and they won't ever say they're sorry. We must be forgiving. Don't fault your Aspie for the different wiring of his/her brain. God has a plan for him/her using just the brain he gave him/her. And the result of that plan may very well surprise you!

As for those of us who are neurotypical (aka, erroneously, normal), perhaps the Aspie in our life will some day see fit to forgive us for our difficulty in accepting someone whose brain is wired differently!

Again??

She had a meltdown this morning. Again. I had to decide what to do. Again. I wondered WHAT to do. Again. Do you ever feel like this? Like you have to tread on eggshells. Again. Or you must remember to be as literal as possible. Again. My daughter is 13. She's already hit puberty, hormones and all. Thus, I've also had to teach her the finer points of shaving. She's been shaving for over a year now. Last night I told her to shave her legs and arms when she took her shower. She agreed to shave her legs and then said, "I don't know how to shave my arms. You never showed me how.". It took me a minute to figure out that while I was thinking 'under arms' my daughter was thinking of her literal entire arm! Needed to think in black and white terms. Again. This morning, while I know she is very tired, I did make sure to give her a literal time for when I wanted her to do something. Well, evidently that's not good enough for when your Aspie child is completely exhausted. We had a meltdown. Again. I wonder I'd I'll ever have a moment where I don't have to think "Again??" with her but whether or not I do, God evidently gave this child to ME, and my husband, for a reason. And so I take heart in the Scriptures that encourage us to: "Do not grow weary in doing good" And "Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." Along with "In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world." So, even if I have to deal with another meltdown, again, or wonder what to do, again, I know that the God of the Universe understands and He has put you here as well. We are not alone in this! We have each other. So, welcome, friends! Be strong and courageous! And when you can't be strong on your own, lean on Him. He can handle anything you throw His way. -Noble

I've been distract . . .oh, why is my desk so dusty . . .

Bunny trails. Familiar with those? You begin with matching your loose socks together and discover one that belongs to your son. You go to put it in his drawer and notice his dirty clothes on the floor, so you decide to start the laundry. Then you remember the baseball uniform needs to be washed because pictures are tomorrow. Oh, that's right, you're supposed to bring a snack. So now you go to the grocery store. But before you go to the store, do you need things for dinner? Oh, and don't forget the coupons! etc, etc, etc.

We all get distracted and evidently I've been distracted for over two months now since I haven't posted a single thing here. Oops.

Yep, you're right, I did make a promise a few months back and have failed miserably in keeping that promise. Part of the problem is that I get so distracted. What about your unique child? Do they struggle with distraction? Or maybe they're not "distracted" necessarily because they're hyperfocused on something. Drives you nuts when they don't hear you, doesn't it?

Remember, these kids are Aspergers kids. Their brains are wired differently. We need to remember that getting impatient and upset when they don't respond to us in the way WE think they should does no one any good and will probably just make the situation worse. Take a deep breath, Mom and Dad, and think about ways to interact with your kid that you know WILL work. Don't know what will work? Well, stop whatever you're doing now that isn't working and try something different. Remember, your Aspie child is equally frustrated but they need your help. So please help.

-Noble