It's December?! Overwhelmed!

Please forgive me. Again. For once again I have been remiss in my responsibility of updating my blog. Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with everything that you just do nothing? Or you think, "I know, I know it needs to be done, I'll get to it a little later" and then it doesn't get done? I think that's what happened to me. There are times when it seems I have SO much facing me on the
"to do" list, I just get completely overwhelmed and don't do anything!

Are your Aspies like that? Do you give them a task or two or three to do and nothing gets done? You wonder why a task that should have taken 5 minutes is now taking an hour and a half or more because you have to stand there right next to your child to make sure it actually gets done. Then you get frustrated, you get impatient, and you YELL!!! Hmmm. That didn't work either, did it?

A couple of months back I couldn't understand why my 13yo Aspie daughter broke down when I told her to do a simple Language Arts assignment. Now, I realize that LA is probably her weakest academic area but this was something simple. Hmmm. Simple. Yes, it was simple. But not to an Aspie who had anactivityFridaySaturdaySundayandplayedwithfriendsandactivityonMondaytoo!

Hard to read? Yes. Read it s-l-o-w-l-y. I reckon the first time you looked at or even tried to read that string of words you felt an inner wall go up, you thought,"What?? That doesn't make any sense!" and you felt overwhelmed. Right?

Multiply that feeling by 10, 20, 30, maybe even a thousand, and that's how it seems to be for an Aspie on an almost daily basis at key moments.

I urge you, Dear Parent Friend, when you're Aspie begins to melt down or to go into what I call "shutdown mode", remember those times you have felt overwhelmed. Can you imagine having to face that feeling practically every day and not know exactly what to do about it?

Our children look to us for training or guidance (yes, really,they do! I promise!). Let's not berate them when they feel helpless.

I Peter 5:7 states "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

Proverbs 3:5-6 states "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

May we both let those two passages of Scripture be an encouragement to us when we're anxious and don't have any clue as to what to do with or for our differently-wired children!

-Noble

Summer (Change of ) Routine

Hello! Your sporadic blogger here!

Since the summer is upon us and most of our kids are out of/done with school for the summer, I've been thinking about how I'm going to keep my Aspie daugher "on a routine". She does not do well when left to her own devices for the whole day. The first two weeks we will be occupying the kids with VBS (Vacation Bible School) and swim lessons, followed by lunch and a quiet time. By the time that is over each day it will be around 2 or 3pm. Then I'll be working on a project with my dd for at least an hour each day leaving her about an hour or so of free time before dinner and maybe an hour afterwards.

How do you keep your Asperger's kiddo on a routine in the summer?

Woefully Unreliable

Talking about me, here. I promised you that I would post something at least once a week and I have not. I do apologize. This past Sunday we had a guest pastor at church. His message topic was: Temptation. A big part of temptation comes from within. Wow. Ouch. Therefore, temptation from within my own self has pulled me to focus my attention on other things instead of this blog. That being said, do you think that our kiddos (or spouses) with Asperger's Syndrome are more prone to temptation than the rest of us, given that they can be so focused on ONE thing for a long period of time? And because it often seems that they are only interested in what they WANT to focus on?

What are your thoughts on this?

Look up a Scripture verse this week that talks about temptation and come back and tell me what you learned from it. I'll do it, too.

Blessings!

-Noble

Future Education for Autistic Kids

I'm discovering some new and exciting resources that may be helpful to all of you as you navigate your child's education, now and in the future. While I am a huge proponent and advocate of homeschooling, I know that it's not possible for everyone. When it comes to college and post-secondary education, that may be of even more concern. So here is help. Below I've posted a couple of links for resources that may help you. Please come back and let us know if it was indeed helpful to you.

http://collegeautismspectrum.com/index.html

http://www.npr.org/2011/04/13/135345982/colleges-address-autistic-students-struggles


Blessings!

-Noble

Is it more than just disobedience?

Anyone who has a kiddo with Asperger's Syndrome knows that while our Aspies like their routine and schedules their meltdowns seem to occur at random times and, sometimes, for random reasons. My husband is quick to say that it's blatant disobedience and that our daughter is "playing the sympathy card." He may be right but I don't see it that way.

I do believe there is a deeply rooted issue of disobedience in all of us, regardless of our various issues or neuroses. However, I also believe that you must tailor the discipline of that disobedience to the individual. My husband's response is to immediately get frustrated and yell. Yeah, that helps. I will admit that used to be my response, too, and sadly sometimes still is. Yet I know that our daughter is wired differently so shouldn't I also know that my response must be different? Yes, I should and I do. But not always.

What do you do when you realize your response to your Aspie's meltdown or other bizarre behavior is simply ineffective? Or when responding a certain way has worked before but not this time around?

One day when the kids and I were all yelling at each other and couldn't seem to stop, I ran downstairs, dropped to my knees, and literally cried to the LORD for help. As I opened my Bible the first passage I saw was Proverbs 15. I read the first verse and then tried to read on. I couldn't concentrate on anything but that first verse: Proverbs 15:1

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Ouch. What had we just been doing to each other? Yelling. In anger. Not being gentle at all. I literally was stuck on that verse and could not read on. Then I stood up, picked up the white board and wrote that verse on it. Then I called the kids down, showed them that verse, and made us all read it together.

The point of this is that we all get frustrated and angry. For a myriad reasons. We often choose disobedience. All of us. (When was the last time you spent some quiet time reading Scripture?) We will and often do respond inappropriately. When that happens, as it inevitably will with special needs kiddos, turn to the LORD, in prayer and humility. For that is our first act of obedience: to acknowledge that we need Him. Thank Him for your life. You wouldn't be here without Him. Praise Him for Who He is. Then ask for His help and guidance. In answer, you may get stuck on a single Bible verse but it will be exactly the one you need.

Blessings!

-Noble

Spring Break!

I know! It seems like I was on Spring Break all of March! But I need to take another week or two off to think about this blog and where I want its focus to be. If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to post away! Be nice. Be respectful. Thanks!

Behavior of other Siblings

Lately, I've been noticing behavior from my son that seems to be copied from his sister. This concerns me only because I don't know if it's just him copying her tantrums and other behavior or if it means that he is showing actual, valid signs of Asperger's Syndrome. You may remember that my daughter was assessed, and confirmed, for Asperger's Syndrome last spring. Now I'm beginning to wonder if I should have my son assessed, too. One more thing to add to the prayer list!

Through it all, and whatever the outcome, I know that God is with me. He is with you, too, whether or not you realize it. He is in control and I must rest on that. I must rest in His arms, placing the worry on His shoulders. I must do that because if I don't and try to carry it myself . . . well, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty!

Are you here at this part of your journey with your special kiddo? Are you at the beginning? Are you further along? May God grant you comfort and wisdom, wherever you are on your journey with the challenges and delights of having a special needs child or children.

Share with me your stories. We're all in this together. You are not alone!

-Noble

Overwhelmed?

Do you ever know that you need to do something, like clean the house, but once you set your mind to do it, when you look around, it just overwhelms you? Think about that feeling for a moment. I think that may have been how my daughter was feeling today when she was working on her math homework. She was grumbling so I asked her what was wrong. She said, "I...I...I feel overwhelmed." However, when I asked her how she was feeling overwhelmed, she really didn't know how to explain it. Is your Aspie, or other special needs, kiddo ever just overwhelmed? Does that ever frustrate you? Next time, let's both take a deep breath, step back, and think about those times that we have felt overwhelmed. Perhaps we'll both gain some insight as to what's happening inside our precious kiddos at that moment! May God bless you with understanding and insight!

-Noble