Is your Aspie kiddo unmotivated? Are you? How does that affect your day? Evidently, it affects me, too, and has affected me this month.
Please forgive me for ignoring you. My pledge to you for 2011 is this:
Despite whatever comes my way, I promise to update this blog at least once a week. If I don't, what help am I to you?
To begin, tell me how your journey is going with your Aspie kiddo. Was Christmas a pleasant celebration or did your kiddo have a meltdown amongst all the noise and other stimuli? Ours was mostly pleasant. My daughter did get to know a cement wall up close and personally - still doesn't have the concept of steering (her scooter) down. And she's 12. Hmmm. Maybe this next year?
-Noble
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I don't know
Good morning!
I sit here, in front of my computer, thinking, "I really need to post something!" and yet, my mind remains blank. Thinking of my daughter's behavior/challenges lately, there hasn't been too much out of the ordinary. But let's look at a couple of past issues.
The most recent one (last week) occurred when my daughter confided in me that she was still having trouble making friends. From what I've read, this is a typical challenge with Aspie kids, and possibly adults, too. She also said it seemed as though people were saying things about her but not to her. Oh, how I've been there! HOWEVER, what I was quick to remind her of is that she is the daughter of the KING of KINGS and she is beautiful no matter what anyone else says!
Have you struggled with this issue? Has your child?
The other issue is physical pain. Either my daughter has a very high pain tolerance or she just got so focused on other things, the pain was a non-issue for her. Around the beginning of the school year, she decided she wasn't going to wear socks with her tennis shoes. At first, I wasn't too concerned about it. Just thought it was a 'stage', you know? Until the day I saw her feet! They had red spots all over them for where the shoes had been rubbing them raw. I asked her if her feet hurt. Her response? "Only when the shoes rub on them." ?! She hadn't told me her shoes were tight and hurt, just that she didn't wear socks! We immediately went out in search of new shoes for her!
What has your Aspie not told you that could have been, or was, critical?
Next topic (coming semi-soon) is The Self and help through the Bible.
I sit here, in front of my computer, thinking, "I really need to post something!" and yet, my mind remains blank. Thinking of my daughter's behavior/challenges lately, there hasn't been too much out of the ordinary. But let's look at a couple of past issues.
The most recent one (last week) occurred when my daughter confided in me that she was still having trouble making friends. From what I've read, this is a typical challenge with Aspie kids, and possibly adults, too. She also said it seemed as though people were saying things about her but not to her. Oh, how I've been there! HOWEVER, what I was quick to remind her of is that she is the daughter of the KING of KINGS and she is beautiful no matter what anyone else says!
Have you struggled with this issue? Has your child?
The other issue is physical pain. Either my daughter has a very high pain tolerance or she just got so focused on other things, the pain was a non-issue for her. Around the beginning of the school year, she decided she wasn't going to wear socks with her tennis shoes. At first, I wasn't too concerned about it. Just thought it was a 'stage', you know? Until the day I saw her feet! They had red spots all over them for where the shoes had been rubbing them raw. I asked her if her feet hurt. Her response? "Only when the shoes rub on them." ?! She hadn't told me her shoes were tight and hurt, just that she didn't wear socks! We immediately went out in search of new shoes for her!
What has your Aspie not told you that could have been, or was, critical?
Next topic (coming semi-soon) is The Self and help through the Bible.
Monday, November 1, 2010
It's November already??
WHERE, I ask you, where, does the time GO?? In October, I promised to write at least once a month and I did but I don't think it was nearly enough. There are so many topics to write about!
So, to you, dear readers, this is my promise: in November, I will write about at least three topics but I shall let you choose! Here are some of the topics currently running around through my head (let me know if they're running around in your head, too!):
*God will never give us more than we can handle.
*Cain, Moses, and Jonah: what did they have in common and what does this have to do with Asperger's anyway? (I know, long title. :^) )
*You at HOW much Halloween candy?? (aka Nutrition, or lack thereof)
*You must have a lot of patience!
Any other topics you'd like to see?
-Noble
So, to you, dear readers, this is my promise: in November, I will write about at least three topics but I shall let you choose! Here are some of the topics currently running around through my head (let me know if they're running around in your head, too!):
*God will never give us more than we can handle.
*Cain, Moses, and Jonah: what did they have in common and what does this have to do with Asperger's anyway? (I know, long title. :^) )
*You at HOW much Halloween candy?? (aka Nutrition, or lack thereof)
*You must have a lot of patience!
Any other topics you'd like to see?
-Noble
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Complacent Parent
So my daughter is in public school this year, as I may have mentioned before. We put her there for several reasons, including the one the school gave us: she 'qualified' for Special Education. Now that we're almost to the end of the semester, do I think we needed to do this? In some ways no, in some ways yes.
But the point I really want to stress today is to not become complacent. I've found that since we've had our sweet girl assessed for Asperger's and our suspicions have been confirmed, my husband and I seem to have become complacent. We've been 'resting on our laurels' and have not done any further research. But, who's responsibility is it really to figure out what's best for our kiddos? Who is ultimately responsible for how they learn to cope in the 'real world'? My friends, that's you and I, the parents and guardians. And so, I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to no longer be complacent, but be proactive in researching what can be helpful to you, me, and our kids.
This week's challenge to you: Tell me one NEW thing you've learned about your Aspie kiddo during some recent research.
May you all be blessed by your new found knowledge!
-Noble
But the point I really want to stress today is to not become complacent. I've found that since we've had our sweet girl assessed for Asperger's and our suspicions have been confirmed, my husband and I seem to have become complacent. We've been 'resting on our laurels' and have not done any further research. But, who's responsibility is it really to figure out what's best for our kiddos? Who is ultimately responsible for how they learn to cope in the 'real world'? My friends, that's you and I, the parents and guardians. And so, I challenge you, as I challenge myself, to no longer be complacent, but be proactive in researching what can be helpful to you, me, and our kids.
This week's challenge to you: Tell me one NEW thing you've learned about your Aspie kiddo during some recent research.
May you all be blessed by your new found knowledge!
-Noble
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Why I Won't Obey (aka Meltdown Moment)
Last night at the end of dinner we had a Meltdown Moment. Parents, you know what these are: you ask your child to do a simple task but, because you didn't ask ahead of time, your kiddo (especially an Aspie) has a meltdown. That's what happened. I tried to figure out what was going on and how to make it better for all; my husband simply found himself getting impatient, as all of us who are NT seem to do.
When we had figured out the main mood of my daughter at that time was confusion, I asked her, "Are you confused because you don't know why we're asking you to help (clear the table) or are you confused because you don't know why you don't want to help?" she acknowledged that it was the second part of that question.
As I thought about that this morning, I also thought of how we as followers of Jesus often don't want to do what He asks of us. We want to do what WE want to do. Please don't ask us (even neurotypicals) to do something we deem unpleasant or not fun!
So, basically, I think the root of all discipline issues is our sin nature, regardless of whether we're neurotypical, Aspie, or something else. The difference is in the way that is communicated and understood. So now I'm at the beginning of my journey to help my precious Aspie, in her literal, black and white world, understand and internalize WHY Jesus asks us to do certain things, like obey our parents, and HOW she can do that in spite of herself.
What are your thoughts?
When we had figured out the main mood of my daughter at that time was confusion, I asked her, "Are you confused because you don't know why we're asking you to help (clear the table) or are you confused because you don't know why you don't want to help?" she acknowledged that it was the second part of that question.
As I thought about that this morning, I also thought of how we as followers of Jesus often don't want to do what He asks of us. We want to do what WE want to do. Please don't ask us (even neurotypicals) to do something we deem unpleasant or not fun!
So, basically, I think the root of all discipline issues is our sin nature, regardless of whether we're neurotypical, Aspie, or something else. The difference is in the way that is communicated and understood. So now I'm at the beginning of my journey to help my precious Aspie, in her literal, black and white world, understand and internalize WHY Jesus asks us to do certain things, like obey our parents, and HOW she can do that in spite of herself.
What are your thoughts?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Consistency
Obviously, I am not consistent on updating this blog! I promise to do a much better job from here on out. I promise to update at least once a month! :^)
On that note, have you ever noticed that the people you know with Asperger's Syndrome aren't always consistent in their reactions? Or are the Aspie folks in your circle of influence pretty consistent in reacting the same way to the same thing?
I'd like to say that my daughter is pretty consistent in her reactions but sometimes there are things that 'shut her down' that I don't even know will do that!
What are your experiences?
-Noble
On that note, have you ever noticed that the people you know with Asperger's Syndrome aren't always consistent in their reactions? Or are the Aspie folks in your circle of influence pretty consistent in reacting the same way to the same thing?
I'd like to say that my daughter is pretty consistent in her reactions but sometimes there are things that 'shut her down' that I don't even know will do that!
What are your experiences?
-Noble
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Away . . . and drawing on the walls.
Sorry I've been away for so long, but now I'm back!
Do any of you have an AS child who, despite being 'older', you still catch drawing on the walls? My daughter is almost 12 and her recent addition to our decor is a pink flower she painted on the back of her bathroom door using nail polish! I had to explain to her that while I admired her artwork (and I really do!) I did not admire her drawing on her bathroom door without permission! But I had an idea . . .
She and I, very soon, are going to look through my stencil collection, and maybe go shopping for more and THEN, once she finds one she likes, I'm going to let her STENCIL her door! Her creative bent will be satisfied and she won't get in trouble!
Any thoughts?
-Noble
Do any of you have an AS child who, despite being 'older', you still catch drawing on the walls? My daughter is almost 12 and her recent addition to our decor is a pink flower she painted on the back of her bathroom door using nail polish! I had to explain to her that while I admired her artwork (and I really do!) I did not admire her drawing on her bathroom door without permission! But I had an idea . . .
She and I, very soon, are going to look through my stencil collection, and maybe go shopping for more and THEN, once she finds one she likes, I'm going to let her STENCIL her door! Her creative bent will be satisfied and she won't get in trouble!
Any thoughts?
-Noble
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Specialty Schools
Recently, I was looking for information on a school here in Arizona that specially caters to kids with high-functioning autism/Asperger's. I'd heard it was a private school and I'd heard it was a charter school. Turns out it's a private school and a pricey one at that!
What are your experiences with having your Aspie in a mainstream school? Private school? Homeschool?
The Bible says that we, as parents or guardians, are responsible for training our children. Do you think that extends to their schooling, as well?
I'm interested in your thoughts and experiences!
(Please only answer the questions in this post and do not comment on comments. Thank you!)
-Noble
What are your experiences with having your Aspie in a mainstream school? Private school? Homeschool?
The Bible says that we, as parents or guardians, are responsible for training our children. Do you think that extends to their schooling, as well?
I'm interested in your thoughts and experiences!
(Please only answer the questions in this post and do not comment on comments. Thank you!)
-Noble
Friday, June 4, 2010
You Are What You Eat
You've heard that phrase, right? "You are what you eat." Jordin Ruben likes to say, "You are what your food has eaten." Either way, it makes sense to be careful of what we put into our bodies. Before you go running away screaming and thinking I'm going to tell you you can't eat this but you can eat that, relax. I'm not going there. But I do want to ponder, briefly, the possible effects of diet (what we eat) on those with Asperger's Syndrome.
Shonda Schilling, in her book "The Best Kind of Different" states that there's not enough conclusive evidence on how food affects Asperger's and so she and her husband decided to not even go that route with their son. Honestly, I don't know what the studies show. However, I do know that food can affect how you feel and, sometimes, even how you act. How do I know this? I struggle with hypoglycemia. Some foods, especially if eaten at certain times of the day, really make my blood sugar spike and then plummet to the point where I get sweaty, clammy, my vision may blur, and I get really sleepy. Now, if I don't eat for a long time between meals, my stomach tightens, my head hurts, I get cranky and get hyper-focused on ONE thing: finding food!
I tell you all this because I want you to know that various foods CAN affect us in adverse ways. So, while some may gloss over the idea that Asperger's is affected by what we eat, I think it's at least worth an initial trial to see how foods affect you, or your child, with Asperger's. I found a site with an initial eating plan to rule out various foods. Unlike other "initial eating plans" I've seen, this one looks relatively simple. Granted, if you're a carbaholic like I am, it may be difficult, emotionally, to follow it but think about it's worth if it helps your Aspie kid, or your Aspie self, function better in the world! I'm going to follow this plan, starting in about two weeks (waiting for pay day), with my daughter:
http://www.itoldyouiwassick.com/About_Me.html
Would you like to try it with us? Or have you found something that works, or doesn't work, for you when it comes to food? Please leave a comment and let us know!
-Noble
Shonda Schilling, in her book "The Best Kind of Different" states that there's not enough conclusive evidence on how food affects Asperger's and so she and her husband decided to not even go that route with their son. Honestly, I don't know what the studies show. However, I do know that food can affect how you feel and, sometimes, even how you act. How do I know this? I struggle with hypoglycemia. Some foods, especially if eaten at certain times of the day, really make my blood sugar spike and then plummet to the point where I get sweaty, clammy, my vision may blur, and I get really sleepy. Now, if I don't eat for a long time between meals, my stomach tightens, my head hurts, I get cranky and get hyper-focused on ONE thing: finding food!
I tell you all this because I want you to know that various foods CAN affect us in adverse ways. So, while some may gloss over the idea that Asperger's is affected by what we eat, I think it's at least worth an initial trial to see how foods affect you, or your child, with Asperger's. I found a site with an initial eating plan to rule out various foods. Unlike other "initial eating plans" I've seen, this one looks relatively simple. Granted, if you're a carbaholic like I am, it may be difficult, emotionally, to follow it but think about it's worth if it helps your Aspie kid, or your Aspie self, function better in the world! I'm going to follow this plan, starting in about two weeks (waiting for pay day), with my daughter:
http://www.itoldyouiwassick.com/About_Me.html
Would you like to try it with us? Or have you found something that works, or doesn't work, for you when it comes to food? Please leave a comment and let us know!
-Noble
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Asperger's Translator
Ever wondered how you can get your gloriously talented child to do something that needs to be done without having a complete meltdown when it's actually time to do it?
I have found a few ways to re-word what I say and it seems to help alleviate those meltdowns. This is not a panacea (one size fits all cure) but I think it might help some of you! Please let me know if these work for you and what else you have found that works.
(This particular segment of the blog will be update occasionaly with different wording translations.)
Neurotypical speech:
"In a half an hour, I want you to do such and such."
What should probably be said:
"It's now 1:15. At 1:45, I want you to do such and such."
I've personally experimented with this change of wording with my beautiful 11 year old Aspie daughter. It seems to work well. Keep in mind that if your child does not do what you said exactly at 1:45, he will within about 5 minutes from that time.
What re-wording have YOU found helpful?
I have found a few ways to re-word what I say and it seems to help alleviate those meltdowns. This is not a panacea (one size fits all cure) but I think it might help some of you! Please let me know if these work for you and what else you have found that works.
(This particular segment of the blog will be update occasionaly with different wording translations.)
Neurotypical speech:
"In a half an hour, I want you to do such and such."
What should probably be said:
"It's now 1:15. At 1:45, I want you to do such and such."
I've personally experimented with this change of wording with my beautiful 11 year old Aspie daughter. It seems to work well. Keep in mind that if your child does not do what you said exactly at 1:45, he will within about 5 minutes from that time.
What re-wording have YOU found helpful?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
A Schilling for a Book and Advice
Step right up! Buy a book! Just kidding!
I simply wanted to draw your attention to something: books relevant to our subject matter. For now, I've only read a few. Some I've found helpful, some not. I realize not all of us are avid readers. Some of us are bibliophobes - afraid of books. If that's the case, relax. I will probably read enough for all of us. And, please, by all means, if you've read a book that you think has been helpful in your journey with Aspergers, tell us about it here. I'd love to know!
The book I've read that's foremost in my mind right now is "The Best Kind of Different" by Shonda Schilling. Her husband Curt wrote the introduction. Although I find the book bunny-trailing quite a bit, Shonda has some very valid points. Even Curt, in the introduction, brought up something that resonated with me. He said, after finding out about his son having Aspergers, "...countless visions from eight years of chastising, punishing, yelling, and some spanking popped ino my head. I was overcome with an immediate and overwhelming sense of guilt..."
Yes, Curt, I completely understand. And my child is even older! She'll be 12 this summer! All the times I yelled at her, lost my patience, wondered if she would EVER be respectful and obedient to her parents came back to haunt my thoughts as I realized not only was I not understanding her, she certainly was not understanding me! Now, I know why but that doesn't mean I always 'get it' or get her or get me!
Shonda touches on going to the meeting where the professionals finally told her what exactly was 'different' about her child. (I'm assuming it was the school district's psychologist, occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and special education director, like it was for me.) She mentions that friends had offered to go with her for support since Curt was out of town with the baseball team and how she had politely declined, thinking she was prepared. Oh, how I can relate!
My own husband was supposed to go with me to attend the meeting for our own child. About 24 hours before the meeting he informs me that he will be unable to go with me. Great. Yet another thing I get to do (on.my.own.) as Mom. "Okay," I think to myself,"I'll take notes and talk to him about it later."
Let me just tell you that I was SO unprepared for how the emotion would hit me later. I should have taken a friend with me! Shonda talks about it hitting her while she's in the meeting. My own emotional overload hit much later. It was a mixture of angst, relief, confusion, rebellion, and probably a slew of other emotions. Even though I had planned to do some schooling with the kids that afternoon, I couldn't. I was too wrought with emotion. So I was glad to read that someone else had a similar experience to mine!
Have you been there yet?
If you've yet to go to that meeting, but it is scheduled, please plan for someone to go with you. You may not think you'll need that emotional support (Shonda and I certainly didn't think we needed it) but you will find it helpful. Do you bring your child with you? I did because she's older and in many ways more mature about some subject matter than others her age. Plus, I had already explained to my daughter about Aspergers and she understood. Shonda and Curt had yet to tell their son and he was younger. So, that decision is ultimately up to you, the parents. I strongly believe that both parents should go to these meetings, if at all possible. But, Mom, if you're it, take a friend. You'll be glad you did!
Blessings!
-Noble
Quotes are from "The Best Kind of Different" by Shonda Schilling, c. 2010, William Morrow, an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers.
I simply wanted to draw your attention to something: books relevant to our subject matter. For now, I've only read a few. Some I've found helpful, some not. I realize not all of us are avid readers. Some of us are bibliophobes - afraid of books. If that's the case, relax. I will probably read enough for all of us. And, please, by all means, if you've read a book that you think has been helpful in your journey with Aspergers, tell us about it here. I'd love to know!
The book I've read that's foremost in my mind right now is "The Best Kind of Different" by Shonda Schilling. Her husband Curt wrote the introduction. Although I find the book bunny-trailing quite a bit, Shonda has some very valid points. Even Curt, in the introduction, brought up something that resonated with me. He said, after finding out about his son having Aspergers, "...countless visions from eight years of chastising, punishing, yelling, and some spanking popped ino my head. I was overcome with an immediate and overwhelming sense of guilt..."
Yes, Curt, I completely understand. And my child is even older! She'll be 12 this summer! All the times I yelled at her, lost my patience, wondered if she would EVER be respectful and obedient to her parents came back to haunt my thoughts as I realized not only was I not understanding her, she certainly was not understanding me! Now, I know why but that doesn't mean I always 'get it' or get her or get me!
Shonda touches on going to the meeting where the professionals finally told her what exactly was 'different' about her child. (I'm assuming it was the school district's psychologist, occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and special education director, like it was for me.) She mentions that friends had offered to go with her for support since Curt was out of town with the baseball team and how she had politely declined, thinking she was prepared. Oh, how I can relate!
My own husband was supposed to go with me to attend the meeting for our own child. About 24 hours before the meeting he informs me that he will be unable to go with me. Great. Yet another thing I get to do (on.my.own.) as Mom. "Okay," I think to myself,"I'll take notes and talk to him about it later."
Let me just tell you that I was SO unprepared for how the emotion would hit me later. I should have taken a friend with me! Shonda talks about it hitting her while she's in the meeting. My own emotional overload hit much later. It was a mixture of angst, relief, confusion, rebellion, and probably a slew of other emotions. Even though I had planned to do some schooling with the kids that afternoon, I couldn't. I was too wrought with emotion. So I was glad to read that someone else had a similar experience to mine!
Have you been there yet?
If you've yet to go to that meeting, but it is scheduled, please plan for someone to go with you. You may not think you'll need that emotional support (Shonda and I certainly didn't think we needed it) but you will find it helpful. Do you bring your child with you? I did because she's older and in many ways more mature about some subject matter than others her age. Plus, I had already explained to my daughter about Aspergers and she understood. Shonda and Curt had yet to tell their son and he was younger. So, that decision is ultimately up to you, the parents. I strongly believe that both parents should go to these meetings, if at all possible. But, Mom, if you're it, take a friend. You'll be glad you did!
Blessings!
-Noble
Quotes are from "The Best Kind of Different" by Shonda Schilling, c. 2010, William Morrow, an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Title and How this Blog Got Started
We're told that all the answers can be found in the Bible. Or maybe, more specifically, in Jesus. I believe this; truly, I do. But honestly, sometimes I'd like the Bible to be a little more specific. Like in our recent revelation that our daughter has Aspergers Syndrome. What do you do with that? And as I turned to God, reading through His Word, my thought was, "Where is "Asperger's" (or even "special needs" for that matter) listed in the Bible?
Then I thought, "I'm probably not the only one struggling with this." I then had the bright idea to write a book! (Mind you, this whole thought process took place TODAY, May 25, 2010.) Great idea? Yes. Except. Except I'm already in the middle of writing another book, totally off topic, with a few other ideas in the forerunning for books. So maybe, not such a great idea for me. Plus, it would take too long to get out amongst the people who really need the education, support, and information.
Therefore, I am now blogging. Go me! Actually, go YOU! If you're reading this it's for one of two reasons:
1) I pestered you with an email begging you to "Go See My New Blog"
OR
2) You heard about it from someone and are curious or really need to know you're not alone in the Aspergers journey, whether you be an Aspie, teacher, parent, friend, etc.
For whatever reason you're here, Welcome! I invite you on this journey, hopefully in a semi-realtime basis, as we discover, together, what we need to know about this very well kept secret that so many more people need to know about.
Oh yes, let's not forget about the 'dragons' in the title. I've always found them fascinating. In fact, I believe that the leviathan mentioned in the Book of Job (found just before the Book of Psalms in the Holy Bible) actually describes a dragon. And sometimes, I think Aspergers can be just as amazing and mystifying!
Welcome to the Journey!
-Noble
Then I thought, "I'm probably not the only one struggling with this." I then had the bright idea to write a book! (Mind you, this whole thought process took place TODAY, May 25, 2010.) Great idea? Yes. Except. Except I'm already in the middle of writing another book, totally off topic, with a few other ideas in the forerunning for books. So maybe, not such a great idea for me. Plus, it would take too long to get out amongst the people who really need the education, support, and information.
Therefore, I am now blogging. Go me! Actually, go YOU! If you're reading this it's for one of two reasons:
1) I pestered you with an email begging you to "Go See My New Blog"
OR
2) You heard about it from someone and are curious or really need to know you're not alone in the Aspergers journey, whether you be an Aspie, teacher, parent, friend, etc.
For whatever reason you're here, Welcome! I invite you on this journey, hopefully in a semi-realtime basis, as we discover, together, what we need to know about this very well kept secret that so many more people need to know about.
Oh yes, let's not forget about the 'dragons' in the title. I've always found them fascinating. In fact, I believe that the leviathan mentioned in the Book of Job (found just before the Book of Psalms in the Holy Bible) actually describes a dragon. And sometimes, I think Aspergers can be just as amazing and mystifying!
Welcome to the Journey!
-Noble
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